I don’t know if you saw the speech former President Barack Obama gave October 10th at the Kamala Harris rally in Pittsburgh, but it was one of his best. While Obama was obviously on a soapbox in support of Kamala’s presidential candidacy, he was also speaking to the heart of what this election is all about and, more importantly, to the heart of who we are as individual U.S. citizens. After reminding those listening of a long list of facts from Donald Trump’s résumé (including lying, cheating, rape, felony convictions, corruption, alleged collaboration with a hostile foreign power, as well as fomenting the divisiveness and acrimony that is undermining American democracy and trust in our institutions), Obama summed it all up in terms of character.

Obama challenged all voters to make their choice this election based on what they see to be the character of each presidential candidate.

Obama wasn’t talking about what the candidates have done, are doing, or will do. He was pointing at a much deeper way of knowing someone. He was saying that values and character are where the rubber hits the road when it comes to who a leader is, whether they can be trusted, and whether they are someone with whom you’d want to have running your country.

What Obama didn’t say, but what I believe to be true, is that values and character are not something you’re born with. Character is defined as “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual”. It might also be defined as the qualities that make us who we are.

If I’ve learned anything in my eight decades, it is that the character of any human being is the foundation for not only who they are, but the basis for integrity, trust, reputation in relationships, and the limits of what they can and cannot achieve in their life.

In my book, character, by any criteria you wish to consider, is a choice. Character is a commitment to how a person chooses to be. And, at the most profound level, character is an ongoing commitment to that specific way of Being. In my case—and I believe in Kamala’s case as well— that commitment is to live as my word. That is, to be responsible for keeping my promises to take care of others because I say so.

Why take care of others? I’ve shared my belief before that only the individual can make a commitment. “We” commit isn’t possible. “You”can commit. “I” can commit. You and I can align our commitments. That’s it.  And, at the same time, it is also true than none of us can fulfill our commitments by ourselves. We always need others.

What I got from Obama’s speech is that the character of a man or a woman isn’t some set of characteristics or behaviors that belong to that person as an individual. Character is something that emerges in their relationship with other people. It is a product of their actions and coordination with others in all kinds of situations. Character also forms the boundaries of what is possible in their relationships. It is a prerequisite for trust and what we’re seeing when we say someone is “walking the talk” or “this person is a servant leader” or “this person’s way of Being is inspiring”.

There is no contest, from my perspective, if you consider the two candidates—Kamala and Donald—through the lens of character.

I think one’s commitments and one’s character are pretty much the same. This notion is reflected in a quotation from an ad I’ve kept on my wall for almost 40 years.

“Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions. And the actions that speak louder than the words. It is making the time when there is none. Coming through time after time, year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of, the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism.”

These words are from Shearson-Lehman, the corporate owner of American Express. When I fall short or forget for a moment, this quote reminds that: a) my own character is a choice I need to make every day, and b) “I” can “Be” (exist) only in my relationship with others.

So let’s look at our candidates through the lens of character/commitment, bearing in mind of course that how you and I assess the character of each presidential candidate also reflects on our own character and values.

Let me be blunt. Donald Trump is not interested in or concerned about his character, or anyone else’s for that matter. If you watch the recently released documentary “The Apprentice”, you’ll learn about Trump’s relationship with Roy Cohn, the man behind the McCarthy hearings and witch hunts that destroyed thousands of lives. Cohn’s cynical view was that morality is a construct and, therefore, there is no right or wrong. The point to living is to win, no matter what the cost or who pays it. According to the documentary, Donald Trump learned three rules for how to “play the game” of life from Cohn, rules which Trump amply follows on social media and which almost any objective news source reports him demonstrating his commitment to on a daily basis.

Rule #1 – ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK. This no doubt includes adolescent name calling and threatening anyone who dares criticize or challenge you.

Rule #2  – ADMIT NOTHING, DENY EVERYTHING. This is an iron-clad formula for not having to worry about reality. Eventually ‘realists’ and ‘rational’ people will grow weary and become resigned to your recalcitrance and simply change the subject.

Rule #3 – ALWAYS CLAIM VICTORY. This didn’t work for George Bush after the Iraq war started. It is, ultimately, a way to prove that you are out of touch with reality and, at the same time, look foolish. (For example, talking about the size of the crowds at your rallies, your IQ, or how you are better at everything than everyone else in the world.)

Donald’s “Make America Great Again” campaign promises include commitments to: conduct the largest deportation operation in American history, seal the border, terminate the electric vehicle mandate, increase tariffs on foreign producers, build a national Iron Dome missile defense system, cut federal funding to schools (for various reasons), and keep women out of men’s sports.

Kamala, on the other hand, exemplifies the character, the “taking care of others” that I would hope a president of these United States of America would have. Something very much along the lines of what the Boy and Girl Scouts of America aim to develop in young people. When I was a young man intent on becoming an Eagle Scout, I was working to develop myself into a person who is “trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent” and to live a moral life. I, like many others before and since, took the Boy Scout Oath:

“On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.”

Girl Scouts similarly promise, “On my honor, I will try to serve God and my country, to help people at all times, and to live by the Girl Scout Law.” The Girl Scout Law outlines similar character development: “I will do my best to be honest and fair, friendly and helpful, considerate and caring, courageous and strong, and be responsible for what I say and do, and to respect myself and others, respect authority, use resources wisely, make the world a better place, and be a sister to every Girl Scout.”

I can envision Kamala growing up with these qualities as her North Star, for she exemplifies a good deal of these character traits today. And from the commitments she has made during her presidential campaign to building back better, safeguarding our fundamental freedoms, and ensuring safety and justice for all, she is the kind of person whom I would trust with my life and the lives of my loved ones. And, at the end of the election and moving into 2025, I want someone with her character creating the policies that will impact what is and is not okay for us as individuals in our lives and careers and the policies that will limit what is and is not possible for our country in the future.