What is transformation?
In this hour-long video, Jim talks about transformation in a way that makes it accessible, available, and actionable in a consistent and coherent way. This inquiry into a fundamental question at the heart of coaching occurred at a 2013 gathering of Association of Transformational Leaders.
Highlights
Three questions organize how people listen and interact in a conversation:
- “Who am I?”
- “What would I be committed to accomplishing if I were not limited by what I think limits me?”
- “What’s missing for me to accomplish that?”
Whatever answer a person has for question one is defined by their relationships. Specifically, their relationship with:
- Themselves
- Other people
- Circumstances, and
- Time.
Whatever answer they have for question three is their story. That story is shaped by those four relationships. Those relationships are based in assessments. And assessments are neither true nor false.
The power of transformation is not in changing something, but in changing your relationship to something. Transformation is relational.
The way to shift your relationship to something is through commitment. When people make a commitment to change their relationship to the story they have about themselves, others, circumstances and/or time, they gain access to the power of transformation.
Mastery is when, 24/7, you are not reacting to anything, when you are essentially the author of your relationship with life in words.
In the world of transformation, Being is a choice. At this time in human history, there is a new emerging paradigm of Being, the primary quality of which is love.
Love is a choice, but people don’t choose to love themselves all the time. In order for you to make that choice, you’re going to have to get outside your historical story. And you can’t do that from inside the story. You can’t really make a choice by yourself: you have to have a relationship with someone outside yourself. You can really only love yourself if you can see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you.
Love is an action, the action of granting another the space to Be. It is a declaration of who I am in relationship with another human being. It is actionable. That is, when I say, “I love you”, I’m declaring that, for me, you are absolutely perfect the way you are and any other way you want to be. I’m making an unconditional commitment to who you are, to your freedom, your autonomy, and your magnificence. Your Being, therefore, manifests and occurs in the space provided by me, a person who loves you. And my Being manifests and occurs in the space provided by you, a person who loves me.
In this way, love becomes the context for who we are. It’s where we come from. It’s the source of transformation.
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